


Oh No!!

by Gdivadakin



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: But this story is mostly Vanya being a BAMF, Diego becomes nicer over time, Fiveya in the background at first, Guns, Vanya Hargreeves-centric, Viego— as growing friends/siblings, five is soft with vanya, lots of gun, vigilante AU vanya
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2020-03-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:01:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23324389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gdivadakin/pseuds/Gdivadakin
Summary: ==REWRITTEN VERSION==When Vanya finds out people are looking to hurt her during a break-in, she decides to seek help, learning how to be able to defend herself.This leads to the city’s new vigilante, who’s singlehandedly stolen the spotlight from the Umbrella Academy.
Relationships: Number Five | The Boy/Vanya Hargreeves
Comments: 25
Kudos: 193





	1. Note!

Thank you for reading! This story is a re-write of an older story, so if you are here from that, thank you for sticking with me! If you have anything you’d think could help me out— a headcanon or two, or some constructive criticism, I’d love you forever! These chapters will be short but in good supply.


	2. The Threat

When the mission alarms blare in the house, it startles Vanya at first, but she takes a moment to realize she doesn’t have to do anything but stay in her room. So she does just that, and continues whatever book Five stole for her once more.

After the Umbrella Academy leaves with their Father, the house is happily silent. Vanya waits five beats before she leaves her room, and, smiling softly, goes about her own business in the house. No Father means no scolding when she goes down the stairs with her violin. No Diego means no teasing when she messes up some chords while she plays by the fireplace. But no Five meant she can only play her new song in front of Pogo, who doesn’t work on weird math or read some big book as she plays like Five does, he only sits and stares until it’s over.

And so, when it’s over, she rushes back to her room.

-

It was later in the night, as Vanya was trying out her sister’s new hairdryer, that she was shoved into a coat closet by Grace.

She watched as two masked intruders took turns peering into her and her siblings’ rooms, armed with metal baseball bats that swung by their sides. 

“So,” the taller one began, “we don’t... kill this one? I don’t understand what our purpose is then.” To which his partner replied, “We don’t want to kill her, just break some bones, yaknow? So she stays still and sticks to the plan.” 

“Well, what does she contribute that’s so important?”

“You idiot, don’t you know?”

“Uh... no”

“She’s the end— the apocalypse herself.”

-

It was only when the academy got back did the intruders run out the back door, not accomplishing their goal.

But god, did Vanya stay in that closet until Five found her.

-

During Five and Vanya’s daily Five and Vanya Time, Five was startled to hear her violin stop playing. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked, his book closing with a snap. 

“I want you to help me get stronger. I want to make sure I’ll be safe, because I don’t have the super-power advantage you do.” She spoke in a robotic tone, almost as if she was reading from a script. She definitely wrote this down beforehand, Five thought.

Five pondered this, reaching under his bed without another word, and handed her a revolver and a box of bullets. 

“All you need” he added, smiling.

Vanya didn’t bother him with the topic of self-defense again.

-

Two days later, Vanya pondered her options. Allison and Luther were too busy with each other, Klaus and Ben doing the same, and Five would only spew some more “I’ll protect you” bullshit. So, she had to grin and bear knocking on Diego’s door.

“No way.” Was the first answer.

But then Vanya offered to do his homework. 

-

So there Vanya was, wearing a shirt and sweatpants she stole from Five, about to hop out of her window and climb from the fire escape to meet her brother. 

It was moments like these, Vanya thought as she leapt, that she wishes she led a normal life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Drink some water and get some good sleep, your health is important! :) <3


	3. What’s it for?

It became a routine for Vanya and Diego to sneak out to train. They didn’t do it every night, but they did meet up whenever they had the energy. The two started going to a nearby gym, the owner, Ron, was nice enough to let them train after hours, as long as they’d clean up after.

Diego was a hit or miss trainer. Some nights he’d be hard on her, almost impossible to work with, but other nights he would be despondent, not really caring about whether or not she’s making progress. Either way, it made her want to punch him.

So she did. 

The next time he ridiculed her for messing up her form during weight-training, she turned around and swung. 

When he came to, he was laying down on one of the benches, Vanya holding ice to her brother’s temple, and Ron laughing his ass off in the background.

Vanya had to clean his room, but Diego got the memo that his sister really wanted to get better. So he started actually helping.

-

“What the hell is dad thinking, making you do all that work?” Five asked as he popped into Vanya’s room, startling her as she did Diego’s work. 

“I—uh, I asked for more work. Cause... y’know, you guys have been off more lately for missions...” She managed, cringing as she spoke.

Five stared at her, as she fiddled with her pencil, evading his gaze. He shrugged, grabbing the revolver he lent her. “Hm. Okay, good luck.” And with that, he left.

With the gun.

-

“You need more protein” Was the first thing Ron said to Vanya as she walked into his gym with her brother.

“What?”

“First rule of the gym is a good diet. You need protein and fiber to help you build muscle.” He finished, pointing to the mini fridge in his office, “I made you two some food to take home. You better eat it.”

Vanya smiled, “Thank you.”

“Mhm. Now go, kick his ass.”

-

The two made a stop before going home, sitting at the pier as they ate the food Ron made them. 

Diego lowered his granola, clearing his throat and asked, “Hey Vanya?” 

“What’s up?” She answered, letting her hair out of the tight ponytail she’s had in all night.

“Why do you want this?” He turned to her, a serious expression on his face.

“What do you mean?”

“Why do you want to work out, why do you want to.. you know, get stronger?” He persisted

“You won’t believe me if I told you. It’s crazy.”

“Vanya, we have a robot mother and me and the others kill people, and we haven’t even turned 16.”

“Okay, you have a point... You remember a while back, when you guys went on that mission, and we had a home invasion situation?”

“Yeah?”

“I was hiding in the coat closet by our rooms, and I over heard the people talk about how they needed to.. I don’t know it sounded like they were being paid to beat me up. Like... they were talking about breaking my bones.”

“What the fuck..” 

“Yeah. They had these baseball bats and called me the apocalypse.” She flicked a pebble off the pier, waiting for the noise it makes when it hits the water.

“What the fuck?” 

“I know. So I want to be able to defend myself if they come again.” 

“Okay... another question...” continued her brother, drinking water from their thermos.

“What’s that?”

“What are those pills for?”

Vanya faltered. 

She didn’t know.

“I.. uh.. don’t know?” She answered, picking at the tomato on her sandwich. He hummed, holding his hand out. 

“What?”

“Give me the bottle.” He said, and she reached into her hoodie, handing him the unmarked orange bottle.

He looked at it for a second, before standing up and throwing the bottle off the side of the pier.

“Let’s see what it does, then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Howdy! Thank you for reading again, I hope you all stay safe! Drink some water and sleep well!


	4. Holy Shit

“So,” Five started, appearing behind Vanya when she landed in the back alley outside of her bedroom window, “where are you going? Where have you been going?” He asked, a stern look on his face.

Vanya shrugged, tying her shoe, “Why does it matter to you?” 

Five ignored the comment. “And why are you sneaking off with Diego, of all people? What aren’t you telling me?” He persisted.

“What do you mean, of all people? We’re friends.” She answered, not wanting to keep Diego waiting.

“I just don’t know what to think, you always used to spend time with me, you used to steal my clothes and.. and you’d talk to me. Now you’re sneaking off almost every night with Diego, the one who’s made you cry countless times.” Ranted Five, reaching out to hold her hand. She held his hand, but gathered herself.

“Yes, he used to make me cry, but he’s the one who’s helping me. He’s training me for self-defense, Five. What did you think we were doing?” She asked, rubbing circles into his palm.

“You— you don’t need ‘self-defense’, I’m always here for you.” He said, in the most matter-of-fact way possible, even laughing a little.

She dropped his hand, shook her head, and left.

-

“Alright Va— Why are you crying?” Diego asked, immediately dropping his notebook and running over.

“Five,” She answered, shrugging him off her shoulder, “he doesn’t believe I can do this. I thought he would, but.. I don’t know, he thinks he can defend me himself.” She groaned, hiding her face into his chest when she let him hug her.

“Hey—hey... it’s... alright?” He patted her back, cringing at himself and his attempt to comfort her. He looked up for Ron, to let out a plea for help, but something else caught his eye.

His notebook was hovering midair. 

His notebook and all the dumbbells were hovering midair.

“Uhm.. Vanya?” He muttered into her ear, managing words through a freaked out state of mind.

She sniffed, wiping her face on his hoodie, “What?”

“I think... I think we found out what those pills do.” 

-

“New idea.” Diego said, later into their training. They were both at the same state of confusion that rendered them each useless with their usual workouts.

“Yeah? What’s that?” She asked, finishing her squat reps. 

“Let’s try and see if those dumbbells were you.” He said, shrugging.

She scoffed, rolling her eyes. “I don’t think it was me. If it was, then Dad’s been avoiding a whole new kid with powers by giving me medicine to suppress said powers. He would kill for me to have powers, you know how much he loves to have a team of killer children.” She laughed, fixing her ponytail.

“Maybe he knew,” Mumbled Ron, his face behind a recent copy of the city’s paper, “he’s a real shady guy.” 

“How do you know him?” Diego asked, his arms folding over his chest.

“A long while ago, about ten or eleven years, my sister got a job as a nanny there. In a week, she’d gone missing, and lawyers came to my door and had me sign a whole NDA. That’s how I got the money to start this gym.” He explained, folding the newspaper up.

Vanya turned to her brother, “What do you think happened?”

He shrugged, pocketing his notebook. “More like who. We were like.. four or five at the time. That’s when our powers started developing.” 

“I think I wanna see if I have powers now. I’m sorry for your loss, Ron.” Vanya managed, her hands beginning to fiddle with the string of her sweatpants. He simply nodded.

“Well,” Diego started, “let’s go to the pier. I don’t want to pay to replace Ron’s equipment if you throw it out the window.”

-

“Uh,” Vanya muttered, kicking a pebble off the pier, “What do I do?” 

“I think you should try to move that barrel.” Diego pointed, his voice lowering. “Uh... focus on the sound of the waves.” 

Vanya immediately made a face. “Why?”

“Theres always people on TV with telekinesis that have to, like, meditate. Just do it.” He explained, patting her on the back.

“Oh, Jesus, I could be a telekinetic. Okay. Should,” she laughed, “should I hold my hand out too?” 

“Shut up.” He defended himself. 

She laughed for a little bit more, but calmed herself down. She actually did manage to focus on the sound of the waves, steadying her breath and looking at the empty barrel, willing it to move.

It broke her heart to see it stay still. But she pushed on.

Hard.

She let the waves crash in her ears, overwhelming her senses. Then she thought of Five, earlier that night in the alleyway. She let a tear fall.

“Hey Vanya?” Diego asked.

She kept her eyes on her target, but acknowledged him, “What?” 

“Look... to your right.”

And so she did.

And she watched a yacht parked at the neighboring pier break in half, dropping into the dark water.

“Holy shit” said the two in unison. Vanya felt a sense of horror, but her brother picked her up in a hug.

“I’ve been wrong about you the whole time! Holy shit! I’m so proud of you!” He yelled as he swung her around, helping her smile about the whole situation.

“Let’s try more. Oh my god!” She laughed, finally hugging him back. He let her down after a bit, then taking the time to reach into his backpack, whipping open his laptop, and starting up his favorite AC/DC album.

“Diego, what’s the point in this?” She laughed, watching him do a little air guitar.

“Montage music. Duh.” He explained, pointing to the bottles on the pier railing. “Knock those down.”

She smiled, letting the music reverberate before using it to help her throw them off to the beach. “Yeah!” He encouraged, fist bumping her. “I need to get more trash for you to throw.” He laughed, walking towards the trash can.

“No way am I polluting the earth. Let’s find somewhere else.” She said, ending his short career of dumpster diving.

-

“You should join us on a mission.” He said, as they walked around downtown, sharing a half dozen of donuts from Griddy’s. Vanya laughed.

“What? No way, Dad would kill me.” She said, looking up at him as they walked. “No,” he continued, “like, we put a mask on you, I tell you where we’re going, and you come in and steal the spotlight.”

Vanya smiled at the thought, chuckling for a bit. “Let’s go buy a mask, then.”

-

They left the early halloween store, that was miraculously open at 2 AM, with a whole costume. Diego carried the bag, because he was already making her haul his backpack around, and they walked aimlessly around the city, planning Vanya’s first mission.

“I think we should go to Ron for this. As much as I love being your self-proclaimed ‘mentor’, I think he would give you, like, guns n’ shit.” He laughed.

“Ooh yeah, that’d be cool, finally proving myself to the rest of the family and immediately shooting my eye out!” She chuckled, shooting her hair band at his face.

“I can’t teach you how to shoot, I’m the knife guy!” He said, managing to make a point. 

“Fine. Let’s ask.” Agreed his sister.

-

“What?” Ron asked the next night

Vanya hated repeating herself “I want to shoot a gun. For vigilante purposes.” Diego snickered, and then she elbowed him.

“Do you know how crazy you sound right now?” Asked the old man, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

“Yes.”

“Alright, fine. Come to the basement.” He stood up, and the siblings looked at each other in disbelief.

That night, Vanya learned all she needed to know about Ron, that he didn’t use all the NDA money for a gym, but he used all the NDA money for a gym to hide his side hobby.

“God bless America” was all Diego could say when he followed his sister into a basement lined wall to wall with guns and other various weapons. “Alright!” Ron said, patting Vanya on the back. “Let’s teach you how to shoot.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Howdy!!! Sorry for the short chapter, but thank u for reading it! Love y’all!


	5. Who the Hell...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: BLOOD + DEATH MENTION!!!
> 
> hope you are all doing well!! this is a short chapter, but at least i’m back on my writing groove! expect more soon! lots of love!! 
> 
> IMPORTANT PLEASE READ  
> also!!! my lazy brain can’t fully compute vanyas powers and the white violin alter ego thing??? so she has basic telekinesis that can be achieved by meditation + a focus on her senses— mainly sound!

Vanya groaned when she hit the alleyway pavement, her legs sore from the training of the past nights. Mumbling complaints, the girl shifted her weight with the heavy bag ruining her posture.

It was an old bag she found at the thrift store, worn from time, but that’s what she liked about it. She also found a spare ten in a hidden pocket. 

She appreciated that even more.

“Are you done complaining?” hummed her brother, snatching the bag from her back and slinging it over his own shoulder, “I’m sure Ron has some ibuprofen at the gym, so let’s go.”

Walking down the street, Vanya stuffed her hands in her jacket pockets. Exhaling into the air, she amused herself watching the breath quickly become a thin cloud in the air. 

“It’s getting cold out, so make sure you don’t wear your shorts. I don’t want you getting sick.” Diego huffed, grabbing her shoulder to turn a sharp corner.

“Aww, are you worrying about my health?” cooed Vanya, reaching up to flick her brother’s ear.

“Choke.”

-

Pushing the back door open to Ron’s gym, Diego hadn’t expected another young face in the room. The guy looked to be around their age, sprawled on the couch with a leg propped up. He was out cold, the hood of his jacket covering his eyes.

“Hey Ronnie?” Vanya called with a smile, shrugging off her jacket, “You have a son we don’t know about?”

The boy woke with a snort, clearing his face quickly to see who interrupted his sleep.

“He’s in my spot!” Diego whined, chucking their bags by the door, and grabbing Vanya’s jacket to hang it. 

Ron appeared in the room, leaning back on the doorframe. “That’s Lucas, he’s my nephew. He’s staying with me. And don’t call me Ronnie, for that, drop and give me twenty.” Vanya groaned, pulling her hair into a quick ponytail, and dropped to the floor for her pushups.

“Who the hell are these people?” Lucas mumbled, rubbing his eyes. Taking a better look at him, Diego noted his dark red hair curling past his ears, beanpole body type, and posture that reminded the boy of Ben at the dinner table.

“That’s Diego and Vanya. I’m training them for free because I’m that good of a guy.” Ron paused, “And they mop my floors.”

“He’s kind of our dad now.” Diego said, stretching his shoulders to join his sister in pushups. He knew the repercussions of his statement, so he saved Ron’s breath. Unbeknownst to the siblings, Ron hid a smile.

Vanya jumped up when she finished her pushups, stretching her calves. “What’s the agenda, Ron?” she asked, fixing her hasty ponytail from before.

“I want you to practice your powers,” Ron started, but quickly turned to his nephew, “Oh, by the way, Lucas, she can move shit with her mind. Not a joke. Anyways, I want you to go with your brother to that pier you were talking about the other night. Try to focus on your senses?

“Now I’m no uh… I’m no specialist on your mind tricks, so I want you to snoop around. I know your father is a dick, but he’s a dick that takes notes. When you go home, try to find a chance to look for any notes about all of you. I know this is all new, but ya’know… he could know something.” he finished, turning back into the kitchen and opening the fridge.

“Also,” he added while taking out his wallet and giving the girl two twenty’s, “On your way back, get some glazed donuts and what you want from Griddy’s. When you get back, we’re gonna work on a better disguise than that shitty off-brand Batwoman costume from Party City. Blegh.”

Vanya grinned, taking her bag to store the money, grabbing a sweatshirt from it aswell, pulling it over her head. “Thank you, Ronnie.”

-

“What,” Vanya started. “what the fuck?” To which she received a shocked nod from her brother.

They stood on the pier, staring at the building near their usual spot. A dead body lay in front of the two siblings, donning an unusual suit and tie.

He tried to kill Vanya, Diego thought. He was armed. He shot at her, but she was already in a groove practicing with barrels and trash. In a split second, all Diego could see was red.

When he came to, the man was slumped on the pier, blood profusely pouring from his ears and nose, pooling near his head and beginning a stream towards the drop of the pier, diluting into saltwater.

He glanced over to Vanya, who shakily kneeled onto the ground, hugging her knees. He quickly dropped to comfort her, holding her for however long she needed.

“We can’t tell anyone about this.” Said Vanya, gaining composure. Diego looked at her, incredulous. “We can’t tell the cops, because then we’ll be found out by father… and I don’t want Ron thinking that… that I’m…” she stuttered, letting out a shaky breath, “I’m a monster.”

Diego held her closer, “You’re- You’re not a monster. He tried to hurt you, Vee…” 

She hugged her brother, burying her face in his shoulder for a bit, and swallowed her words. After a bit, she crawled near the body, searching the man’s pockets. She found a motel key, with a room number, a car key, and a piece of paper.

“Terminate Diego Hargreeves for immediate extraction.” Vanya read out loud, looking up to her brother, handing him the note to read himself. “I think he’s from the same people who wanted to hurt me, Diego.”

Without another word, she stuffed the contents into her pocket, and grabbed the man by his feet, pulling him towards the water.

“Jesus Christ Vanya!” Diego spoke, shaking his head as he went to help her. “The things I do for you…”


End file.
